It all starts quite harmlessly. You’re looking for fun. You get together. Every now and then you meet for some erotic hours. Everything is fine. The time you spend together is sensual and uncomplicated.
Having an affair is great fun – and stirs up everyday life in a positive sense. Just to clarify what we are talking about: An affair does not mean cheating on another person. But simply dating a single person with whom you have a purely sexual arrangement. The focus is on the mutual physical attraction.
The big advantage of such an arrangement: Both get what they want. You may live out your lust and desires. But you are never accountable to each other. And faithfulness doesn’t matter.
Frequent meetings – frequent sex: What to do if feelings arise?
Not allowing any feelings that go beyond the purely physical – this is not difficult for singles if the circumstances are clarified from the very beginning. But as life sometimes plays out, casual dating may also generate feelings. Suddenly, you start cuddling after sex. You start talking about your everyday life. Similarities arise. Preferences (outside the bed) are shared. The foundation for the development of feelings has already been laid.
And then it happens: One of the involved often has greater feelings for the other than there should be. What to do now?
Of course, it always depends entirely on your personal wishes and needs. If the romance is too important to you and you can live with the fact that the other person also dates other singles, you should just continue to hold on to what you got and not stir up unnecessary trouble. However, if your feelings are so strong that the idea of sharing your sexual partner hurts you, then you’ll need to talk.
Feelings for your affair partner: Let’s talk
In an open conversation, it is important to be honest. Clearly explain what you feel, but don’t put the other person under pressure. Just communicate your situation.
Once these feelings have been established, both can work together to find a solution. If there is no solution, you might have to go separate ways. But if you find a way that works for both, you may continue to enjoy your casual dates. And then see what happens.
A possible option: Continue as before but increase the number of meetings. Maybe try to spend a little more time together outside of bed. Or start doing things together. Shopping. Cooking. And much more. This way, you’ll soon notice if it’s just a fling or your big love.
If it turns out that the story has no potential for more, it is worth taking a look at a dating website like TALEJA. Here you may let off steam with other singles and ensure through variety that no further feelings will arise.